We’ve all found ourselves in positions where we’ve felt that despite our best efforts nothing seems to go the way we want it to. Everything we desire or set ourselves out to accomplish seems to be preceded by indefatigable resistance and struggle.
We tend to lose hope in these instances, leaving the door open for depression, anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness to creep in. We tell ourselves a story of defeat.
“This is too hard”
“I’m not good enough”
“Maybe this wasn’t meant for me”
These stories are ingrained into our identity and end up becoming who we are or at best who we think we are. They hardwire themselves into our existence.
But what if we changed the narrative? Shifted our perspective on the role of struggle in our lives and changed the lens we view the world through.
The 19th Century Social Reformer and Abolitionist Frederick Douglass’ famous maxim resounds over decades of oppression and injustice. It admonishes the oppressed to keep moving forward in spite of the difficulties they were faced with. “Without struggle, there is no progress”; as he unambiguously put it.
He found himself from birth at odds against a system that was designed not for the progression of a black man but like so many others, faced with every impediment imaginable. Pure ambition to rise above the ill-fated circumstances and persistence in moving toward the goals he had set to educate himself is what built his foundation. It changed the way he viewed himself and the world around him. The lens he now looked through exposed his dilemma as just a position and not his fate. It’s what ultimately made him the quintessential figure for overcoming adversity not only contemporarily but for posterity.
Strength and Growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. Consider every disappointment and obstacle as a root. An anchoring system that keeps you grounded in times of turmoil.
I’ve witnessed the most promising young people stumble and fall never to recover from-in their opinion-unfortunate situations and trials that should have made them better. But because of the wrong perspectives and attitudes, they never pick themselves back up.
I almost gave up at a difficult time in my life after losing a Business and dealing with the life-changing consequences of it. Self-flagellation became the norm for me until one day I had enough of the unhealthy emotions. Prayers and asking GOD for answers kept me sane but as Frederick Douglass also wrote;
“I prayed for 20 years and got no answer until I prayed with my legs”.
It wasn’t until I shifted my perspective and considered the loss to be a lesson that my circumstances changed. I picked through all of the events, actions, and catalyst that brought me to where I was and gave a conscious effort to not just analyze the mistakes I made but to correct them.
In retrospect, I honestly wish I had experienced the struggling and failure much sooner.
As John D. Rockefeller observed and remarked:
“Oh, how blessed Young men/women are to have to struggle for a foundation and beginning in life”.
It builds character, steels your resolve and strengthens your volition. Failure and adversity can teach us valuable lessons that success and comfort never can and never will.
Changing your perspective when the world tests you or when things don’t go as planned is synonymous with “turning the tables”. The world is indifferent to your desires, aspirations, success, and failure. Obstacles and disappointments are inevitable and fortune is fickle. How you respond when it seems like nothing is working in your favor makes all the difference. It’s what turns the tables on an unforgiving world.
Would you rather bend in the violent wind of a storm or break? Would you rather your branches be strong enough to support the weight of the fruit you bare or too weak to hold onto it? Everything that was and can be easily stripped from you was more than likely easy to acquire. A weak structure is almost always the result of a weak foundation. Consider your struggling to be the building blocks of your foundation.
Trials will always be a part of the Human condition. The struggle should always be embraced if only to make your roots stronger. If only to make you more resilient to the vicissitudes of life.
The former President and CEO of the Intel Corporation; Andy Grove wrote:
“Bad Companies are destroyed by crisis, Good companies survive them, great companies are improved by them.”
The resonance of this maxim is perpetual for me. I think about it not just when something goes wrong with my job or in business, but also with relationships or any crisis I may be faced with. It always reminds me that I have the power to choose what I get out of an undesirable circumstance. Am I going to let it destroy me? Am I going to just survive this? Or am I going to be improved by this?
Grow your roots as deep as they can go. You’ll be made better for it.